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Eating at a casino

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Yesterday at my local fish store I bought a pound of Alaskan crab claws. Like a cat loves cream, I go ga-ga for crab claws. I suspect that, to exploit this weakness, a clever casino-baited trap was set for me, and I was always eager to fall into it. In Las Vegas decades ago I used to win pretty regularly at "my" Sahara. It was my cash-cow. I'd then go off to the Thunderbird, now just a Vegas memory. The T-Bird wasn't one of my A-list casinos, but I'd often head straight to their small and cozy seafood bar for their mouthwatering King Crab claws.

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When I bussed into Atlantic City, there was only one casino I always made sure to stop at: Resorts International. You guessed it, they had a cozy little seafood bar where I gorged myself on their succulent King Crab claws. Any gambling money I have spent there was really snapped up by the crabs!

Going to a casino for a meal can be an adventure. At Resorts I always went the same route: Right off the bat I'd win a couple of green chips, just enough for me to pig out with a plate load of King Crab claws, a bowl of clam chowder, and a small bottle of red wine. (Yes, I know it is de rigueur to have white wine with fish, but I happen to like red wine with my crab claws, thank you.) Most of the time I easily made my modest meal-money goal, and then headed straight to the seafood bar with my two green chips. But occasionally, just occasionally, disaster did strike, and it ended up costing me a king's ransom for my plate of King Crabs.

For me, the seafood bar was a fur-lined bear trap. For you, the bait may take a different shape. There are a hundred other casino enticements, promotions, freebies, and star entertainers, to name a few—all designed to get you inside. Loss-leader buffets, gratis gifts, a complimentary pull on a Million Dollar Slot, even free money, just to lure you in. Some casinos will go so far as to refund your cash on adverse slot machine action. I once got suckered into such a promotion . . . but that's a chapter in itself.

Watch Walt Disney's cartoon feature Pinoccbio, where the littie wooden boy gets lured onto Pleasure Island, only to end up being turned into a braying ass. Make sure you don't get brainwashed by casino enticements into doing stupid things too. Don't empty your wallet and turn yourself into a horse's ass.

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